Viva Las Vegas! This place is slots of fun! I went to the Casino today, and what a fantastic time I had! The Casino in Port Lucaya is a great deal of fun, and a great place to spend an afternoon. When I was a cabaret act back in my long distant youth, I had a spot in the main room of a long gone casino in Vegas. I will always remember the room they gave me in the hotel had a mirror on the ceiling over the bed. I found it amusing at first, but when I woke up in the morning I was terrified to see what I thought was an overweight, naked skydiver heading towards me!
But once again, the rambler in me tries to take over! Back to this casino. When you enter, the first thing that strikes you is the size of the place, and the noise! There are so many slot machines! So many! There are banks and banks of them, each and every one of them twinkling invitingly. I decided to augment my wages by investing $5.00 in one of the machines, surely it wouldn’t be hard to quickly turn that into a few hundred, after all I had just seen an ageing octogenarian complete with walker and a tub full of quarters work those machines like she was taking candy from a small child that didn’t really like the candy anyway because it was something minty that smelled of almonds. I faced the machines, and that was my first dilemma. Where was the arm that I had to pull? What on earth were all these lights for? Bank, why do I want to put my money in the bank? I want my money out of the big slot at the bottom! A slot for notes? Are you kidding me? In less time than it takes to say Nudge, my $5.00 dollars had gone. As I walked away, I heard a wavery voice mutter “Smuck!” and I turned to see my octogenarian place a single quarter into MY machine, manipulate the buttons and dials with her knarled fingers and with a deft flick of her walker, she turned towards me, smiled and waited for the massive payout to stop it’s “ka-ching, ka-ching.” She handed me a five spot with a wink “It’s all in the waiting, honey!” she said, as she disappeared, admittedly at slow speed, toward the next bank of machines where disappointed people were leaving!
Feeling thirsty, I headed to the refreshment area, where the server asked me if I would like the specialty of the house. “And what would that be, young lady?” I enquired. “A Martini” was the reply, “but they are quite expensive” “Well!” I thought, “I have back my $5.00 dollars, hang the expense! “No matter the expense, my dear, a Martini it is, two olives, if you please” “It is going to be $2000.00” “Whaaaat? How about if I just have the one olive?” ‘Still $2000.00, I’m afraid” “You’re afraid? I’m terrified!” Yes, gentle reader, you read right! Allow me to spell it out, just so there is no confusion,
TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS! Just how thirsty would you have to be?
And so, grasping my Capri Sun, (complete with 3 olives, score one for me, the house does not always win, thank you!) I headed for the tables. There are around eight tables in the casino ranging from craps to roulette to three-card poker to black jack and all other manor of games. After watching for a while, my now diminished funds burning a hole in my pocket, I decided not to partake, as the money that was changing hands both ways made my remaining $1.25 look a bit silly. So I decided to continue my bag ’o drink outside. A quick quarter in a machine on my way out, the lights flashed, the dials span and you know what? My octogenarian was right! It IS all in the waiting! Unfortunately, I’m still waiting!
‘Till next time,
Rick
But once again, the rambler in me tries to take over! Back to this casino. When you enter, the first thing that strikes you is the size of the place, and the noise! There are so many slot machines! So many! There are banks and banks of them, each and every one of them twinkling invitingly. I decided to augment my wages by investing $5.00 in one of the machines, surely it wouldn’t be hard to quickly turn that into a few hundred, after all I had just seen an ageing octogenarian complete with walker and a tub full of quarters work those machines like she was taking candy from a small child that didn’t really like the candy anyway because it was something minty that smelled of almonds. I faced the machines, and that was my first dilemma. Where was the arm that I had to pull? What on earth were all these lights for? Bank, why do I want to put my money in the bank? I want my money out of the big slot at the bottom! A slot for notes? Are you kidding me? In less time than it takes to say Nudge, my $5.00 dollars had gone. As I walked away, I heard a wavery voice mutter “Smuck!” and I turned to see my octogenarian place a single quarter into MY machine, manipulate the buttons and dials with her knarled fingers and with a deft flick of her walker, she turned towards me, smiled and waited for the massive payout to stop it’s “ka-ching, ka-ching.” She handed me a five spot with a wink “It’s all in the waiting, honey!” she said, as she disappeared, admittedly at slow speed, toward the next bank of machines where disappointed people were leaving!
Feeling thirsty, I headed to the refreshment area, where the server asked me if I would like the specialty of the house. “And what would that be, young lady?” I enquired. “A Martini” was the reply, “but they are quite expensive” “Well!” I thought, “I have back my $5.00 dollars, hang the expense! “No matter the expense, my dear, a Martini it is, two olives, if you please” “It is going to be $2000.00” “Whaaaat? How about if I just have the one olive?” ‘Still $2000.00, I’m afraid” “You’re afraid? I’m terrified!” Yes, gentle reader, you read right! Allow me to spell it out, just so there is no confusion,
TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS! Just how thirsty would you have to be?
And so, grasping my Capri Sun, (complete with 3 olives, score one for me, the house does not always win, thank you!) I headed for the tables. There are around eight tables in the casino ranging from craps to roulette to three-card poker to black jack and all other manor of games. After watching for a while, my now diminished funds burning a hole in my pocket, I decided not to partake, as the money that was changing hands both ways made my remaining $1.25 look a bit silly. So I decided to continue my bag ’o drink outside. A quick quarter in a machine on my way out, the lights flashed, the dials span and you know what? My octogenarian was right! It IS all in the waiting! Unfortunately, I’m still waiting!
‘Till next time,
Rick
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